For many couples, the start of summer marks a pause in the very rigid, monotonous, and hectic school year grind. And now, as the days grow longer and the stresses of waking pre-dawn, carpooling, fundraisers, team practices and games have come to a halt, you and your partner may realize that you have lost your groove. You may be realizing that the busyness of the school year quietly provided a distraction and an excuse from connecting with your partner. Or perhaps you have forgotten (or maybe don’t know) your partner’s Love Language. No worries! With a little practice, you and your partner will be grooving again in no time. Here’s some ideas for how to get started:
- Be intentional about partings and greetings. Just as our “hellos” and “good-byes” (and the emotions that are reciprocated during them) are important for our children, they are equally important in intimate adult relationships. Offering a longer embrace or lingering kiss or touching hands when you say good-bye to your partner could spark a connection that may linger all day, creating anticipation for the next interaction.
- Make plans to spend time together. Schedule a movie date, set a lunch date, or meet at a park. Binge watch a streaming series, comedy, or movie that reminds you of when you met. If staying up late is a problem, turn in early and wake up before the kids to have breakfast in bed.
- Connect while apart. Send romantic or risque’ texts to your partner or a link to your favorite love song. Leave a love note on the coffee pot or on the steering wheel reminding your partner what you appreciate about them.
- Show your love with a token of appreciation. Surprise your partner with a gift that lets them know that you have them on your mind and that they are valuable. Remember: quality over quantity.
- Give your partner a hand with yard work, laundry, dishes or dinner. Consider filling their car with gas or having it detailed. Relieving your partner of even one task could help with decision fatigue.
The goal of these suggestions are all the same: emotionally connecting with your partner. Small, daily connections has the potential to rekindle those thoughts and feelings you desire. Use the summer months to refuel your tank and store up on the feel goods, which come in handy on long summer nights.