Positive Parenting – The Positive Discipline Way
Have you found yourself disciplining your child and thinking “There has to be a better way”? Have you ever yelled at or spanked out of exasperation or in an effort to modify your child’s behavior? The Positive Discipline Model is founded on mutual respect and teaches parents and educators to use kindness and firmness at the same time.
Research shows that children have an intense desire to feel connected and contribute; therefore, young people who have a strong sense of connection are less likely to exhibit misbehavior in school and at home. The Positive Discipline program was developed by Dr. Jane Nelsen and is designed to teach young people to become responsible, respectful, and resourceful members of their communities.
Jane Nelsen gives the following 5 criteria for effective discipline:
- Helps children feel a sense of connection. (Belonging and significance)
- Is mutually respectful and encouraging. (Kind and firm at the same time.)
- Is effective long term. (Considers what the child is thinking, feeling, learning, and deciding about himself and his world – and what to do in the future to survive or to thrive.)
- Teaches important social and life skills . (Respect, concern for others, problem solving, and cooperation as well as the skills to contribute to the home, school or larger community.)
- Invites children to discover how capable they are. (Encourages the constructive use of personal power and autonomy.)
The tools and concepts of Positive Discipline include:
- Mutual respect. Adults model firmness by respecting themselves and the needs of the situation, and kindness by respecting the needs of the child.
- Identifying the belief behind the behavior. Effective discipline recognizes the reasons kids do what they do and works to change those beliefs, rather than merely attempting to change behavior.
- Effective communication and problem solving skills.
- Discipline that teaches (and is neither permissive nor punitive).
- Focusing on solutions instead of punishment.
- Encouragement (instead of praise). Encouragement notices effort and improvement, not just success, and builds long term self-esteem and empowerment.
*From Positive Discipline – https://www.positivediscipline.com/about-positive-discipline
Positive Discipline provides parents, caregivers, and teachers an alternative to punitive punishment and gratuitous praise. Some therapists at Creative Family Counseling are Certified Positive Discipline Parent Educators and enjoy coaching families in this unique approach.