For many parents, the return of children back to school is a mixture of relief and stress. We feel stressed because there’s a lot of prep work for the return to school and there is also a sense of relief when we can all get back to a set routine and schedule.
Leading up to the first day of school for your kids, you may notice feelings of concern, fear, and nervousness or even anger and irritability.
As the school-year ends, many families embrace a slower schedule, or lack thereof. Taking a break from the busy school schedule is well-deserved, but if you’re like my family, some structure and routine to the day can keep things interesting when day in and day out at home can seem boring after a while.
A summer schedule can also help set some boundaries around use of technology, which research shows is correlated to poor academic performance and higher mental and emotional health symptoms. And at least at my house, the more screen time there is, the more outbursts we have, which tells me their brains need less of it! If you want to include technology time in your summer schedule, you could designate a limited amount somewhere throughout the day.
My partner and I have two children, who are four years apart in age. As anxious and loving new parents, we participated in our oldest child’s play as much as we could, and as early as we could. From infancy, we joined our oldest on the floor to show interest in his world, communicate with him in the language he speaks (play), and demonstrate his importance and value to us. As a Registered Play Therapist, I teach parents daily about the importance of child’s play and how children learn, problem solve, communicate, express, and work through their feelings, all through play. I also educate families about how much love and significance a child feels when parents join in the activities that bring joy to the child; it builds connection! And as we know, when children are more connected, they are generally more cooperative. So much good comes from playing with your children!
Adolescence is a challenging time for most parents. Often in our therapy offices at Creative Family Counseling we hear from parents that they knew how to care for their children when they were small, but that they feel like estrangement or conflict are inevitable as their child navigates adolescence. While it is understandable that many parents feel this way, it is the cultural stereotype of teenager/parent relationships. The loss of connection between you and your child does not have to be inevitable.
The Back-to-School-Struggle
The transition back to school can be a challenge for both children and parents alike. With the start of a new school year, comes many new adjustments – new classroom, new teacher, new peers, maybe even a new school altogether. During the school day, children continue to experience new transitions between classes and tasks all throughout their day. It’s definitely a transition-overload. For parents, additional school-year responsibilities can increase the overall stress level in the home with the return of hurried mornings for getting everyone to where they need to be on time.
A parent recently called and said she was looking for a “Feelings Teacher” for her two children. I explained that this was not necessarily a title I’d been given before, but that perhaps I could help. While discussing what exactly her goals would be for bringing her children in to see a “Feelings Teacher,” she identified what I would call typical treatment goals for counseling with children:
Parents, we are trying the best we can, aren’t we? Life is tough right now. Between regular old Parenting (the hardest job in the world), PLUS working from home, and PLUS PLUS home-schooling our children, it is A LOT! It’s more than a lot; it’s unmanageable.
Not only is it a challenge for us parents, but it’s a challenge for our kids too. When children go through difficult challenges, their big feelings bubble over into big reactions and behaviors. And that doesn’t make it any easier on us, does it? So on top of meeting our work deadlines, keeping a somewhat manageable home, meeting our family members’ basic needs, and logging our children into their 5th Zoom meeting for the day, we are also needed for emotional support and co-regulation during the latest meltdown! Ahh!
For months now, parents have been explaining to children the need to stay home for protection from the spread of Coronavirus. Especially at the beginning of the Pandemic, many parents experienced an intense fear of potential germs that could bring home the virus and spread to family members. In well-intentioned cautions to children and with nearly neurotic (eck-hem, I’m talking about myself here…) cleaning procedures upon returning home from public places, parents may have inadvertently shared their own fear and panic regarding the dangers of Coronavirus, both consciously and unconsciously, with their children. Now, as families begin to return to activities outside of their homes, children are asking, “Am I safe away from home?” Some are even experiencing their own anxiety and panic about life outside of their Coronavirus-free homes. Here are 10 Tips for Preparing Your Child for Activities Outside of the Home, which can help reduce everyone’s anxiety about doing so:
Like many parents, I’ve been wondering how I’m going to get my child to wear a mask once the Shelter at Home time is over. I’ve done some research, by both chatting with other parents and some trial and error on my own at home, and I’ve had some success! So I thought I would share some tips with all of you for you to try with your children at home! I’ve come up with 9 Tips for getting your children (ages 2 and up) to wear a mask. For children 2 and younger, or if your child has a medical condition where use of a mask may be questioned, please consult your pediatrician first. Let’s get started!
As a parent of a toddler, this article titled “Toddlers, Meltdowns and Brain Development: why parents need to ditch traditional discipline” on www.RaisedGood.com really struck me. Here’s an excerpt:
“…remember a tantrum is not a reflection on you. Let’s repeat that; your child’s tantrum is not a reflection on you or your parenting. What is a reflection on you is your response to the tantrum. Can you find the courage to disable generational imprinting and cultural expectations and be the calm in your child’s storm? You cannot control another person, but you can choose your response.”